I am the stepmother of two children.
I know what it is like to constantly straddle the line between loving your stepchildren, and not stepping on their mother’s toes.
I know the way it makes your heart smile when one of your step kids accidentally calls you “mom”.
I also know the way it sinks a little when they say “you aren’t my mom”.
I know the fear of messing up someone else’s child’s life.
I know the feeling of being judged.
The feeling that if you have a messy, terrible, rotten, no-good, “the-nine-year-old-just-spent-the-day-at-school-in-the-five-year-old’s-pants” kind of day you can laugh it off if that day involves your own child, but it is twice as stressful when it is “their” child.
I know the juggling act between trying to discipline, but not seem like you are picking on, your step children.
I know it is hard, and stressful, and scary, and not at all the plan.
But I also know that it is wonderful to be part of a step child’s life, and even though you will never be their “real mom” you will always have a little space carved out with your name on their heart.
I am also the mother of a son who has a step-mom.
I understand you. I understand you try your best. I understand that on some level you feel you have to try to measure up to me. Or that I may judge you harshly. Or that I may blame you for my child’s failures.
I might. I might, in the heat of the moment be frustrated that you don’t parent him like I do.
Or that you are “trying to be his mom”…
I want you to know, however, that I don’t really feel that way.
I am thankful that you love and care for my child.
I am grateful that when I cannot be there, you are.
I was not expecting to like you. I wasn’t expecting to befriend you.
Well, I do. And I did. And I am glad you are in my corner.
I am also happy to share his heart with you.
Thank you for your effort. And support. And for befriending me, so that we can both be part of his life all the time, not just during “our time”.
Thank you for entering his life, and mine.