Getting Away From It All… With 4 Kids and One Spouse.

Ever noticed that there is nothing like a vacation to stress you the fuck out?! If you are a mom, you have. I know, I know. I shouldn’t complain. At least I get to go on vacation. But from the minute we decide to go on vacation until two days after we get back it is “Welcome to Stressville –population, Mom”.

It starts with lists. What to bring, what to shop for, what we will eat.. lists to remember what is on the other lists. After a full day of shopping for necessities, double checking lists, and going through the kids clothes, it is time to actually pack. It usually goes something like this:

Me: Okay, so I have all the food figured out, and the kids clothes… do I have all the medication? Shit. Where is the baby advil? Okay.. wait, did I remember to pack socks for everyone?
Unpack all kids bags, realize they all had their socks, repack.
Partner: Ugh, I’m tired. Can’t wait to hit the lake tomorrow. What time are we leaving?

Me: What? Wait. What are you doing?

Partner: Resting. When are we leaving tomorrow?

Me: Resting? Do you not see all the stuff we still have to pack? We won’t be leaving at all tomorrow if we don’t get everything packed!

Partner: Oh. Yeah. I will get to it…

In the meantime, I am still trying to pack everything. I pack my stuff. I pack the kids stuff. I tell him there is a list so he can pack his stuff.
The next morning I get the “Did you remember to pack my glasses? Did you grab my charger? What did I do with my pills?”
And without fail, when we get there it is “Mooom, did you bring me my [insert toy/game/book]?”

Shoot. Me. Now.

I have one rule when we go to the lake. No electronics. And every year my partner spends 90% of his time playing with his phone. My kids play their ipods, Nintendos, and other video game devices. I get frustrated. I tell them to put them away, only to have my parenting vetoed by my partner, who would rather everyone sit at the lake like robots than actually find something to do. (So, remind me why we spent the money and gas getting out here if we were going to act exactly like we do at home?)

Seriously, any takers on the whole putting me out of my misery request? No?

Now, here we are at the lake. Me, constantly wrestling electronics out of peoples fingers. The five year old only wants to eat junk food. He is in a pissy mood, and everyone needs to feel his wrath.
The nine year old sneaks off to play on his electronic game device. He is unimpressed when I find him.
The twelve year old whines about.. everything. There’s nothing to do. He doesn’t want to go outside. He refused to bring a friend to hang out with. There’s nobody he knows. He doesn’t want to meet new people. He is bored.
The only one I am not annoyed at is the baby. She does what she is supposed to. Eats. Cries. Poops. Cries. Sleeps. Cries. Eats.

Nobody wants to play cards. Nobody wants to go exploring. Nobody wants to talk. Nobody wants to hang out with anybody. I should bring up a bunch of girlfriends next time. At least we would actually want to see each other… Nobody wants to DO anything ALONE, but nobody wants to be with ANYONE that is there.

Soooo relaxing! I’m soooo glad I decided to leave my bottle of wine at home and go to the lake… *SARCASM*

It is like this.. whining, fighting, crying (mostly by me), stressful… every day until we go home. Vacation just began and I am counting down the minutes until we get home, and get back to our routine again. Sigh.

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