Sometimes, okay.. a lot of the time, I hint, pester, and straight up tell my spouse that if he was more ROMANTIC he would be rewarded (wink wink, nudge nudge, we are all adults here and you know what I am getting at…) so he should do something romantic more often. It comes up every few months, usually after I have read a romantic novel or we have watched a sappy love movie, and I get this idea in my head that although I don’t expect him to be romantic ALL the time… just once in a while could he surprise me?
Now, I am not saying he needs to rent a limo, blindfold me, and drive me out to some moonlit summer picnic where he has hired someone to write my name in the sky with fireworks while an orchestra that he hired specifically for the evening plays romantic music softly beside us (not that I would complain if it were to happen) but SOMETHING kind of remotely romantic would be nice… sometimes.. once in a while…
The problem is that our definitions of romantic are off a little. A lot. They aren’t even close.
His definition? “I cuddle with you every night!” “Well, we shower together” “I let you pick the movie and I didn’t even play a video game yesterday!”
**Let me be perfectly clear, I love these things. I love that he says “I love you” every day. I love cuddles. I love that he will let me pick the movie and won’t even complain. I love that he will join me in the shower. It all adds intimacy, love, and care into our relationship, and it is sweet and absolutely adorable! I wouldn’t trade one romantic evening for all of it!**
That said, it isn’t what I would call “romantic”. I’m not going to say my spouse is NEVER romantic. He has been… He has written me a poem, spent an entire day learning how to make me an origami flower, brought me flowers for no reason… his proposal was one of the most romantic events of my life! No he didn’t light up a scoreboard, or hire Broadway actors to sing and dance, or have “marry me” written in the sky.. He sat in a puddle. It was the mere fact that in that moment he felt so passionately about being with me that despite the fact that there were were, drenched, in the bathroom while he sat in a puddle, that he HAD to tell me right then and ask me to marry him!
This is what I mean by “romance”. Little pockets of passion that need to be let out once in a while. Even if on his cooking night he ordered pizza but put out a candle and the fancy glasses on the table, just to make it special, or decided that while I was doing dishes he just felt like dancing with me in the kitchen, or turned off the t.v. dimmed the lights and decided we would just talk and cuddle and.. other things maybe… those small romantic gestures would have him rewarded for at least a few weeks.
I guess I shouldn’t complain. I could have it much worse.. he could be being romantic to other women, buying them flowers, and lighting candles (Lord knows THAT has never happened before… ) but I don’t understand why a large portion of males aren’t romantic more often. It works in the movies… trust me, it will work in real life too!
P.S. I don’t know of a woman alive that has watched a movie where a man has bought a woman a new outfit, left it in the bedroom with a note to meet at some restaurant, and taken her out for a nice dinner that went “OH MY GOD I would HATE if my boyfriend did that for me! How terrible! Disgusting! She should leave him!” -You know, just in case you needed a good romantic date night idea. I’m just that kind of person.. here to help out. *wink wink*