The Most Interesting Woman In The World… Alternate Title: I Was A Buddhist Once.

meI think I would like to be a Buddhist, except that I think you spell it Buddist, so I might not make a good… one. I tried Christianity growing up, but decided I hated god after he killed my mom when I was ten. It’s all good now though, so don’t go hating on me, all you haters. And by haters I mean religious people.
So, Sarah told me I’m too worried about offending people. She said a good writer doesn’t worry about offending people and I need to do it more. I’m generally very good at offending people in person because I don’t have much of a filter. When it comes to writing though I spew and rewrite. Sarah says less rewrite and more spew. So don’t hate me. Hate Sarah. You should love me. I’m actually very lovable and I’m also the most interesting woman in the world. I even have a smoking jacket and a Dos Equis like that guy, but I don’t smoke because that would just be gross.
So, back to religion. I love religion. I don’t like how people have destroyed what ultimately is supposed to be a beautiful, spiritual experience. I mean, come on, people, you can read pretty much any holy book and find the same ideals. We are supposed to love each other. Love is the basis of almost every major religion. So why are so many of you spreading hate? Why have we been starting wars and killing each other over religion for centuries? Who cares who your god is? It shouldn’t matter what color your skin is, or whether you are heterosexual, homosexual, gay, transgender, married, divorced, rich, poor, tall, short, fat, thin – what matters is that you are a good, decent human being. Trust me, that’s all god cares about. He/she just wants us to be nice to each other. Whoever is out there watching over us must be getting pretty tired of our bullshit. I know I would be. Then again, I’m not god, I’m just a minor goddess on this great planet we call home.

By the way, I was never a Buddhist, but I’m pretty sure I’d like to be. Those guys love everyone – even you!


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