Ain’t No Perfect Friendship.

friendshipI think the time has come to find a new bff. I’ve been giving this some serious thought the last while. It’s not that I’m lacking in friends. I have friends. In fact I have a few really close friends. I have friends who would jump on the next plane to get to me if I needed them. I happen to love these friends, but, and this is a big issue for me, I don’t really have that one special friend that I connect with anymore.
Friendship is a wonderful thing. Unfortunately, as we get older, we get busy with our lives and don’t stay in contact like we used to. We get busy with our husbands, children, and careers and stop making time for the very people we once found essential in our lives. The very people who would be there for us in a flash if we needed them… or they would be, if we could contact them.
Now, I’m not pointing fingers at anyone. I’ve known a few women with this very complaint. Most of us are single. We may have children. We may not. But we share this one common problem. The friends that we hold dearest no longer have time – or should I say take the time – to call and just say hello. Friendship has become a lost art. It’s wonderful to be there for your friends when they really need you. It’s great that you will be at the hospital if I’m hit by a truck, but why is it so f-ing difficult to pick up a phone and say hello? Are you really so busy with your life that you can’t spend an hour, a couple times a month, going for coffee? Isn’t there more to friendship than being there during our big moments and darkest hours? I thought friendships were built on shared laughter, deep secrets, and long talks about everything and nothing.
Why is it that as we get older we stop taking the time to just say hello? Why do we think it is enough that our friends know we care? It’s not. It’s bullshit. Actions speak louder than words. If we can’t take the time to reach out and share our day from time to time, why bother? I think one thing we all need to remember is that we are mere mortals on this planet, and as such, a time will come when our friends will be gone. It happens. Death will take us all in the end. And then what? Will you cry for the friend who is gone? Will you reminisce and regret the chances, now gone, to make time? Like my dad always said, if you can’t talk to me while I live, don’t waste my time with flowers when I am gone.

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One comment on “Ain’t No Perfect Friendship.

  1. I agree. Before I read this, I was in the “be there for the big things” mindset, but when I think it over… It would be really nice if more people just called to talk or came to visit for no reason.

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