Relationships Are A Responsibility!

Why do people find it so impossible that a woman can be happy alone? I’m happy and I’m alone. Here’s the kicker. I plan to stay this way. No, I don’t hate men. No, I’m not a lesbian. I just happen to really, really, really enjoy being single. why is that so hard for people to accept? Why can’t they just believe I’m happy this way? Why does everyone think I would be even happier if I had a man in my life? Why? Why? Why? I truly could go mad over this issue. So I decided to try and clear things up once and for all. I feel like I’m banging my head against a brick wall, but what the hell, I’ll try once more.
So let’s start with the basics. Everyone thinks that I don’t want a relationship because I was in a controlling, emotionally abusive marriage a long, long, long ass time ago. People tell me that not all men are like my ex. When they tell me this I freak out! What?! You’re telling me that not all men are douchebags?! Can that possibly be true? I thought all men hit women?! I thought all men cheated?! I thought all men were lousy fathers?! Hold the press! I may have to rethink my whole life! I’ve been a monster! I feel so ashamed! How could I have been so wrong?! But then I remember, oh yeah, I knew that. Duh. I know there are wonderful men out there. My father was one. Can you believe it? I know of a wonderful man! My father was a devoted, loving husband and father. My father could cook and clean circles around pretty much anyone. So, doesn’t that kinda mess with your whole theory?
Moving right along. Then people tell me that if I were to experience a good relationship I would want one. Hate to tell you this, but I’ve had more than one relationship. I’ve dated several guys who were wonderful. I’ve dated guys and even lived with one who treated me like a queen. I’m talking romance movie style. Guys that said things like, My heart, my life, my breath are yours. I’d walk through fire for you. I’d take a bullet for you and die smiling. Trust me, I have been head over heals in love and it was pretty great. Come to think of it – it was wonderful – but I don’t want it. Let me try and explain why.
I have been shopping at the same supermarket for years. The cashiers know me by name. Most of them are pretty nice people and I think most of them like me too. I usually make it to the supermarket a couple times a week and the cashiers are used to me being friendly and funny. I usually enjoy our playful banter as they ring my groceries in. Unfortunately, every once in a while I don’t feel on top of the world. We all have those days where we feel like life has kicked us one too many times. Yet every time I go to the supermarket, the cashiers are waiting for me to bring them a laugh. It can be pretty tiring when you’re just not in the mood to entertain. Now I have a responsibility to the cashiers where I buy groceries. The same thing happens at my bank. In other words relationship = responsibility.
We have many relationships in life. Our family and friends are more complex and take a great deal more time and energy than the relationships we have with the people who work in the store, the bank tellers, the mailperson, etc, but each person, we interact with on a regular basis, is in fact a responsibility. Don’t get me wrong. I love my kids. I love having a big family and close friends, but each and every individual is a responsibility. Maybe if I didn’t take that responsibility to heart it would be easier, but if I let you into my life, I owe it to you and to myself to be considerate, kind, funny, and there. In the beginning, in the first years I was alone, I thought I would want to be in a relationship again someday, then around the two year mark I started to really get to know me. I began to enjoy my life without the hindrance of a boyfriend/husband. I love that I don’t have to make an obligatory phone call to a significant other if I make plans. I love that I don’t have to consider a significant other in any decisions that I make. If I want to get a dog/cat/goat I can get one without discussing it with my significant other. I love all that not having a significant other entails.
Now for those of you who still think I will be sorry, or that I’m missing out. Or those who say never say never! I’m not. Who knows? Maybe the $50,000,000 man with the Irish/Scottish accent, who is 6 ft tall, adores my children, and is willing to take a bullet for me will show up and send me for a loop! Until then, don’t take any wooden nickles. Any questions?
P.S. I’m really happy.

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