Chicken Dance Day?!

Haven’t you always wanted to say Happy Chicken Dance? How much fun is that? I think we need to start an online petition to get this declared a national holiday! Are ya wit me er aginst me? Can’t you see it now… Buses with signs that declare HAPPY CHICKEN DAY! Now who could possibly be offended by that? Doesn’t everyone love chickens? Colonel Sanders could be our Santy! We could say cool things like, “Oh that Colonel Sanders is such a good egg! How often do you get to say that?
Okay, fine. We’ll stick with Christmas… for now, but only because my daughter just asked me if there was something wrong with me.
So it turns out Chicken dance day isn’t as exciting as I was hoping. I was picturing all these crazy headhunters eating chicken one day a year. You know, kind of like lent, but for headhunters and only one day instead of forty. (Because honestly, 40 days is a long time to only eat chicken, unless you happen to love chicken, which I do) I figured they’d all be dressed like chickens and peck at each other as they ate. Whoa, that would be a disaster in the making. Can’t you just see it? The headhunters (deprived of their usual human fare) start pecking at each other as part of the whole ritualistic chicken dance begins… Suddenly, little Tommy Headhunter (who is new to the dance and frankly has no self-control) loses his shit! The dance turns into an all you can eat headhunter feeding frenzy! The next thing you know, the whole tribe is wiped out! At this point I have to ask who thought of this stupid holiday in the first place?! Who wants to celebrate a holiday that is responsible for the lives of 43 and a half (Tommy’s dad lost all his limbs at last year’s festivities) headhunters anyway?! Sheesh. But, I digress. I do that… a lot.
So there I was all excited about the Chicken Dance Holiday, (I’d even signed up for classes) when it turns out that the Holiday is just some lame Holiday in Ohio where everyone gets together and, you guessed it, does the chicken dance. Lame as it may be, the Crown Prince of Bavaria visited Cincinnati and participated in an Oktoberfest Zinzinnati celebration that included the world’s largest chicken dance. With 40,000 people joining in the activity, the event was recorded in the Guinness Book of World Records. If I were a Crown Prince I think I would look for something cooler to do, like maybe slay a dragon, or a damsel in distress. Personally, I’d rather celebrate with Tommy.


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